I Will Carry You

I have had some time to reflect back on our journey over the last 9+ months. There are so many people that I am so thankful for! I thought I would share my memories of these wonderful people with all of you. Also, check out the video slide-show with pictures of Eli that were taken by Erin Kilburn from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep! :)

Angie ~ From St. V's Palliative Care. She helped us get through this journey since we found out Eli's diagnosis about half way through the pregnancy. She was so supportive and I cannot imagine this journey without her. She was available to us 24/7 and helped us make plans and answered all of our questions. I will always remember the love and support she gave to us and to Eli! She baptized Eli right after he was born and she will always have a special place in our hearts!

Dr. Morelli ~ I am so thankful that I have such a beautiful person as my physician! I will never forget her kind words during the delivery and all of the support she provided throughout the entire pregnancy. "Make sure you have no regrets" she told me in the delivery room, and those words helped us have 16 wonderful hours with our little boy before he left this earth. I will always remember those words.

Sister Maxine ~ She was also a tremendous supporter. She helped me see that sometimes these things happen even though we don't want them to. She helped me see the beautiful truth -- that Eli was going to be a beautiful angel up in Heaven looking down upon us always... until we meet again one sweet day. Even though he is not with us now, he is a part of our family forever. She helped us remember to appreciate each minute that we had with him here on earth and thanks to her we truly cherished every minute and now we have memories that will last a lifetime.

Crystal ~ My labor and delivery nurse. I have never had a nurse with so much compassion. She took such good care of me and my family. She was so supportive through my entire labor and delivery. I will always remember her kindness. She is a truly beautiful person.



The song in the video is "I Will Carry You" by Selah. Here are the lyrics.

"I Will Carry You"

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen Me
To carry you

These lyrics were written by Angie Smith (in collaboration with her husband Todd from Selah and Christa Wells) to her daughter Audrey Caroline. Angie wrote a book also entitled I Will Carry You which has helped me along this heartbreaking journey (thanks for the gift Kelly). Their story was very similar to ours. The lyrics to this song truly touch my heart.

I will carry Eli in my heart always. I carried him for 35 weeks and I now carry him in my heart forever. No matter what happens or where life takes us, he will always be a part of our family. I look forward to having more children someday so I can share memories of their brother with them. I will tell them how he changed all of our lives forever.